Bloggin Noggin
'cause we could all use a good laugh !!!
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September 24th, 2010Random ThoughtsDriving back from the beach last weekend, the wife and I were talking about our retirement years and where we would like to live. She said she would like to leave close enough to major-league shopping, but wouldn’t mind living in a more rural setting, possibly a farm. As a financial planner, she always thinking about how to grow assets and use them effectively. She recently bought a piece of land in one of her retirement accounts and suggested I should do the same. She innocently said that I could “buy the farm”, having no idea that the expression is often used to say someone has passed on, or “bought the farm”. We had a good laugh, but I know she wishes I would “purchase some agricultural real estate”.
Popularity: 26% [?]
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September 24th, 2010Random Thoughts
My daughter is a great source of entertainment and funny stories. One of her latest involved her red-headed friend from school. Ashley has put her lovely red locks up in a tight little bun on the side of her head. My daughter said she walked up to Ashley, popped her hand on the red bun and said “That was easy !”. Where she gets this stuff, I’ll never know.
Popularity: 9% [?]
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August 18th, 2010A day in my life
I was talking to my 6 year-old nephew over the weekend. We were talking about his father and I asked him if his dad had stopped smoking. He replied, “No. Mom says he’s a dick. ” Although I agreed with him, I relayed the story to my sister. After thinking a moment, she laughed and said, “Yes, I was talking to him about it the other night and I told him dad was addicted, not a dick!” From the mouths of babes…..
Popularity: 11% [?]
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August 2nd, 2010A day in my life
My son went on a mission trip with the church last summer to help disadvantaged people in the mountains of Kentucky. On the work site, there was a litter of puppies. Being the manipulating kid that he is, my son emailed pictures of a huge pair of ears and a tiny little puppy underneath them. Of course he brought him home. After months of unsuccessfully trying to house train “Ears”, I came to the conclusion that what my son brought home was actually a bladder with a dog problem.
Popularity: 47% [?]
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Dirty !
0July 29th, 2010Great insultsIf you were dumb as dirt, you’d cover an acre.
Popularity: 19% [?]
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July 28th, 2010A day in my life
Michael is 6’5″, just a couple taller than I am. I was talking with him this afternoon when Cindy walked up and asked how tall he was and if he had played basketball. He replied with his height and that he has played for a small college out west. I quipped “It was an on-line college” so quickly, I even surprised myself. I brushed the footprint off my rear-end and had a pleasant afternoon.
Popularity: 11% [?]
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July 25th, 2010Can't you take a joke?
IT discovered a blonde was using the following password:
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramentoWhen they asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital.
Popularity: 8% [?]
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July 24th, 2010Can't you take a joke?The gene pool could use a little chlorine.“Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.”Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.He who laughs last thinks slowest!Give me ambiguity or give me something else.A flashlight is a device for storing dead batteries.Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Popularity: 16% [?]
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July 22nd, 2010Can't you take a joke?
A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side).
While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar…so it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was being the Ring Bear…”
Popularity: 11% [?]
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July 22nd, 2010A day in my life
Several years ago, I bought tickets to a concert for the wife and I to celebrate our anniversary. After telling our 9-year old that we were going out and whose concert we would be attending, her response was “Who wants to go see a steak?” Puzzled looks on our faces, it dawned on us the mis-steak. We explained that there is a steak is called Filet Mignon, but we were going to see the singer, Celine Dion.
Popularity: 13% [?]
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