Bloggin Noggin

He’s a what ?!?

Head Noggin — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 00:32:12 +0000

I was talking to my 6 year-old nephew over the weekend. We were talking about his father and I asked him if his dad had stopped smoking. He replied, “No. Mom says he’s a dick. ” Although I agreed with him, I relayed the story to my sister. After thinking a moment, she laughed and said, “Yes, I was talking to him about it the other night and I told him dad was addicted, not a dick!” From the mouths of babes…..

Oh piddles….

Head Noggin — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 22:11:11 +0000

My son went on a mission trip with the church last summer to help disadvantaged people in the mountains of Kentucky. On the work site, there was a litter of puppies. Being the manipulating kid that he is, my son emailed pictures of a huge pair of ears and a tiny little puppy underneath them. Of course he brought him home. After months of unsuccessfully trying to house train “Ears”, I came to the conclusion that what my son brought home was actually a bladder with a dog problem.

Dirty !

Head Noggin — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 01:10:00 +0000

If you were dumb as dirt, you’d cover an acre.

How small was it ?

Head Noggin — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:09:02 +0000

Michael is 6’5″, just a couple taller than I am. I was talking with him this afternoon when Cindy walked up and asked how tall he was and if he had played basketball. He replied with his height and that he has played for a small college out west. I quipped “It was an on-line college” so quickly, I even surprised myself. I brushed the footprint off my rear-end and had a pleasant afternoon.

She’s no Snowwhite…..

Head Noggin — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 17:20:24 +0000

IT discovered a blonde was using the following password:
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento

When they asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital.

bumper stickers….

Head Noggin — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 19:42:38 +0000

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

“Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.”

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

A flashlight is a device for storing dead batteries.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Smarter than your average boy…..

Head Noggin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 22:44:44 +0000

A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side).

While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar…so it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.

The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.

When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was being the Ring Bear…”

Concert steak?

Head Noggin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 22:21:09 +0000

Several years ago, I bought tickets to a concert for the wife and I to celebrate our anniversary. After telling our 9-year old that we were going out and whose concert we would be attending, her response was “Who wants to go see a steak?” Puzzled looks on our faces, it dawned on us the mis-steak. We explained that there is a steak is called Filet Mignon, but we were going to see the singer, Celine Dion.

Do I get points for honestly?

Head Noggin — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 20:02:51 +0000

The car sped off the highway, went through the guard rail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop. A highway patrolman, who had watched the entire accident, helped the amazingly unharmed driver out of the wreck. “Good lord, son,” he gasped, “Are you drunk?” “Of course,” said the man, brushing the dirt from his shirt. “What do you think I am … a stunt driver?”

I’m “Da Man”?

Head Noggin — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 14:57:22 +0000

Got an email from a coworker, Len, yesterday and although I didn’t really do much to help him, in his eyes, I apparently did. His email said “Thanks for all your help. You ‘Da man. And if you’re not, you’ll do until ‘Da man gets here!” It’s nice to be appreciated.